I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize