i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
