4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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