My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
either way he was missing a nipple.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
