I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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