soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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