Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
