dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
