im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize