No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
