She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize