I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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