this beer tastes like vomit already
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I wear drunk well.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
