your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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