Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
