I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
