would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
