idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I party with great urgency now.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
