did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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