I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
