Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
