is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
