Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just had sex bonerless
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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