I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
