What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
