I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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