Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He shit in the fireplace
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
