hotel room ftw
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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