I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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