Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
