he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
