I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Naked. naked and bneed help.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
