Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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