glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
