she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Is it penis luge time yet?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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