Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
