Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
