I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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