there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
