ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
