he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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