so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
