wat bout pragnant strippers??
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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