This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize