He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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