Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
