I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
