He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
