And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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