I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
