Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
