dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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