new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
