Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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