Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm at about main and main street
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
