You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
