some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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