I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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