Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
