I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize