How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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